Author Archives: theidealproject

the unknown

i’m here, i’m there, i’m right where i want to be. i’ve stepped out on faith, i’m on tight rope without a net, sky diving without a parachute……i did it! i’m going!….. forward that is! support has been mixed but that was expected. i feel free(er). i’m learning slowly to trust and believe. its not going to be easy i know…..truth is it was never easy…. and maybe easy isn’t what i need. i was complacent, collecting a check, gaining weight rushing to do work that i despised…..

today my survival skills are in full effect. my dreams are clearer. i get several good hours of solid sleep at night. i still wake up early, but now when i wake up it feels different. i’m not dragging my feet, i’m not praying that the boss is out of the office. i’m no longer worried about have to deal with disgruntle co-workers and a backstabbing boss. i now have a better choices on how my day goes.

“message”

“When your self-worth goes up, your net worth goes up with it.”

- Mark Victor Hansen

over recent months i am starting to realize this. i’m am not where i want to be totally, but i think  am on the path that leads there. tears, hard work, more tears, harder work. i am in no way looking for a handout. i am however learning to appreciate and love me while in route. of course i’ve had some help realizing this. don’t we all need that sometimes? but it truly starts from within. many people will not approve of the decisions i will make regarding my future happiness, but who really cares? (i’m not asking for real). no kind of degree, fortune 500 job, or status will determine my happiness. i want to lead a purpose filled life doing what I love…..and that I shall do.

s/o to mc.

I’ll have another, and another….

 

                                                                                                                                                            i rarely watch the Kentucky derby,not that i don’t like  horse  racing; because I can never remember when it comes on. my late great-aunt Audrey used to watch horse racing all the time, along with: play “the numbers” daily, use duck tape for every repair around the house, drank  beer once a year and only wore hush puppy and naturalizer shoes…. i vaguely remember her watching horse racing every time it came on television and always telling the same old stories of how her and her then boyfriend “East”—-yes that was his name; would place bets.they always attended the races at Pimlico racetrack in Baltimore.

i made sure to watch the race this year. #1. i wanted to watch it because MJB (that’s Mary J Blige ) was set to sing the national anthem, during a week filled with controversy. apparently some folKKKs at the derby didn’t want her to sing for fear she might “jazz” it up too much. chicken wrap aside, not only did she sing jazzy and on key, for 82% of the song; she showed up wearing all red! and i loved it.#2….there’s no number 2.

 (back to the race) – Oh yeah! i have no idea what else was going on.there was a lot of talking and when i looked up the race was about to start. all the horses were in place. the horn, the bell, the gun, shiiid someone may have yelled free food, went off and they were off and running. one horse after another took the lead. it what was a pretty close race. in the end there could only be one winner. I’ll Have Another took home top prize and rightfully so. how fitting was it to have a horse win with that name, with a mexican jockey; on cinco de mayo!….

“message”

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. 
 - Stevie Wonder

makes sense….

Imageit’s been a couple of months after the greatest female vocalist; of all time; (i believe) Whitney Houston passed away. for me her death has been one of those moments that you can’t believe is true; but somehow you always knew her days were limited. Whitney’s music moved me as a child. i ’d never heard a voice like that and probably never will again. if you had eyes you could clearly see that Whitney was battling demons. drug demons. from her drastic weight loss (although she’s always been thin) to her erratic behavior; you could tell  that she was losing control.  that demon that many fight to control was now controlling her. some would say she was a functioning addict. i’d like to think she was struggling with living a secular life. Whitney’s faith in God and her church upbringing always made me question why she would let the devil in so deep. Then I remind myself that she’s human and so am I. we make mistakes. some correct them and others succumb to them, but the mere fact that she never let go of her saviour; saved her…… even in death.

sweet life

Image <—- this was the best bridal shower i’ve ever been to; wait, this was the only bridal shower i’ve ever been to.

<—- just because I snapped this photo.

“message”

“I like being unconventional”

- Florence Griffith Joyner

always thought someone should make a movie about her life.

Image

good genes

i like to think i’m a nice person. sometimes too nice…..turns out its all in my genes. story provided by http://www.rttnews.com:

Nice People May Share Common Gene Variations

 

4/11/2012 4:10 PM ET
(RTTNews) – A new study carried out by researchers at New York’s University at Buffalo and the University of California, Irvine has found that some people may have a genetic predisposition to be nice to others.

For the study, the researchers reviewed the DNA of 771 adults who participated in an onlinesurvey. They asked a series of questions about how each participant treated others and then reviewed their gene maps according to the responses.

Many of those who displayed high degrees of caring for others had specific variations of a gene that is associated with human kindness.

“We aren’t saying we’ve found the niceness gene,” said researcher and psychologist Michael Poulin, Ph.D. “But we have found a gene that makes a contribution. What I find so interesting is the fact that it only makes a contribution in the presence of certain feelings people have about the world around them.”

Taking a closer look, the report examined receptor producing genes oxytocin and vasopressin as to how they influence prosocial behavior in the laboratory and in the context of close relationships. Oxytocin and vasopressin may also promote socialengagement following threat. The study examined how the two gene receptors interacted with perceived threats to predict engagement in volunteer work or charitable activities and commitment to civic duty. Oxytocin, vasopressin, and their receptor genes may significantly influence prosocial behavior and may lie at the core of the caregiving behavioral system, according to the report. And though these gene variations were common in people considered “nice,” the researchers found that there is also a psychological aspect.”The study found that these genes combined with people’s perceptions of the world as a more or less threatening place to predict generosity,” Poulin said. “Specifically, study participants who found the world threatening were less likely to help others – unless they had versions of the receptor genes that are generally associated with niceness.”

 
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last saturday after taking part in National Pillow Fight Day, i got a chance to see the Hunger Games. no, i did not read the book(s) like millions of other people, and it’s usually not anything i would normaly want to see but since there was an empty seat on the bandwagon, i sat on down. lol the plot: kids killing each other for food and money for their poor  villiage, town, hood   , i’m really not sure what to call it. there were a few exciting parts; like the fact that kids really did kill each other (not glorifying that). the fight scenes were impressive, but i honestly wanted to nod off a few times in-between. from what i heard, some of the character were closely matched to the book, others could have been more elaborate. as far needing to read to book, before watching the movie…….i didn’t really think it was necessary , the plot wasn’t rocket science but it wasn’t remedial. i wouldn’t take a 9 year old to see it.  some parents felt otherwise, as there were several kiddies in the theater. i have to be honest, the whole time i was watching the movie, i was trying to figure out if this lady was Lynn Whitfield lol  :the movie was quite humorous at times; with a few cast surprises i.e. lenny kravits and woody harrelson. i am almost certain i know what will be the craze this halloween……… overall i didn’t leave the theater full.

bon appetit

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